Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving