lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF