and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am