Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.