i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
