32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Be still, my beating vagina.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
