hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
