He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
