I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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