so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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