i already hear my dad disowning me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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