I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize