my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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