Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
