TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
