You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
