her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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