then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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