ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
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She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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