I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i permit you to call me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
