It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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