one two three fourrrrnication!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
