I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize