dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
