# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
