So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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