i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
