just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he was CRYING into my vagina
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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