If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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