I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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