When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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