Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
