I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
