you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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