The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
