someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Randomize