I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
