I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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