She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
