he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
