Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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