Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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