No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize