I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
