he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
ttyl tear gas
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
