I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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