In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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