I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
MIDGETS
????
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
