and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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