hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
