she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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