Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
