No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I am morally bankrupt
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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