shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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