I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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