yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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