i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
