SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
