Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
