Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
