I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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