just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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