I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
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Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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