My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
