The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
