wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
