i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
