Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
