and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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