I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
