Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
